Your legs wrap around me, but not like they used to. ⠀
They are not as light now and they no longer tuck neatly under my arms and chest. ⠀
Your feet either dangle below my waistline or nearly meet each other on my opposite hip.⠀
Read MoreYou served us at the grocery store. ⠀
You witnessed the tantrum, my offerings of potato chips that we hadn’t yet paid for and my eye rolls when she asked for a different coloured packet. ⠀
“And how are you?” I asked him at 10.30pm as were getting ready for bed. ⠀⠀
“I’m good, why? Is something wrong?” He responded.⠀⠀
We both paused and then laughed, thankfully, because if we hadn’t laughed I could have cried. ⠀⠀
For a while longer, ⠀
Let me hold you in my arms on your own,⠀
Let me wipe away your tears with my hands that are only yours,⠀
Let me soak in all of you every moment with every part of me.⠀
Read MoreDear mum guilt,⠀⠀⠀
I accept that sometimes I can’t wait for my little one’s bed time. Not every night but some. I want you to know that this doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being a mum, that I love my child any less or that I’m failing motherhood. It often just means that the day has taken a lot from me, that my child has or that I need some time to catch up before the following day, which I always hope will be better.⠀⠀
I have had many teachers over the years. ⠀ Primary school, intermediate, secondary school teachers.⠀⠀
Music teachers, coaches, academic tutors.⠀⠀ University lecturers, senior practitioners and Judges. ⠀⠀ ⠀
Your office is your home.⠀⠀
You work there every day, but there are often no other staff members to keep you company.
A picture paints a thousand words, but those thousand words almost never tell the whole story.⠀⠀⠀
Whether the picture be on social media, through the windscreen of your car as you pass a cafe, or through your sunglasses as you engage with other mums at playgroup, the same applies.
Read MoreStart, stop, forget what you started. ⠀⠀
Start over, stop, forget what you started over. ⠀⠀
Don’t start, stop, forget what you didn’t start.⠀⠀
Getting out of the house with a toddler...
Puts alarm on the night before.
Wakes earlier to another alarm (not the electronic version).
Gets up.
Puts dressing gown on.
Read MoreI could walk for hours in the most scenic of settings but your smile will always be the best view.⠀
Even though it may be short lived,⠀
Even though I hardly see it some days,⠀
It is a beauty like no other.⠀
Dear mumma,⠀⠀⠀
I know you didn’t think it would still be going on now, but it is.⠀⠀⠀
They say it’s a newborn thing.⠀⠀⠀
They will start sleeping through,⠀⠀⠀
You will sleep again soon.
When you become pregnant for the first time, you have big visions for your life as a mother – You will watch all of the Netflix series’ that you didn’t get to watch while employed. You will have daily coffee dates with your mum group for hours on end all the time. After long walks with other mum and bub duos, you will re-hydrate at wineries and have more than 3 hours of unbroken sleep for more than one night in a row.
Read MoreShe thought she would sit in a cafe for hours while her baby napped, she drank coffee and chatted with her friends.⠀
Read MoreAs I looked in the review mirror, there was an empty seat behind me. It was covered in crumbs. The window was marked with finger smudges and the back of the front passenger chair covered in muddy footprints.⠀
Read MoreIt’s midnight and I’m exhausted.⠀⠀
I have finally ticked off what I aimed to do within the few hours I had to focus my attention on tasks that were not manageable during the day.
I used to think you could figure it all out eventually. After all, isn’t that the goal? The expectation? The pressure?⠀
I thought it was going to be like following a manual of sorts, and that through trial and error you get there in the end. ⠀
What’s the best way to do that? What should I not to do next time? How could I be more efficient with that?
You give them what you can, always. ⠀
Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.⠀
Sometimes it doesn’t feel beautiful.⠀
Sometimes it doesn’t feel easy.
To the mums out there who have gone through yet another day of no proper “self-care”, I know what it’s like.⠀
I know you are trying.
Read MoreWhat is honest motherhood? ⠀⠀
By formal definition it’s the act of being truthful and sincere in one’s motherhood journey. ⠀⠀
By my definition it’s sharing the highs and lows, the embarrassing and the unfiltered, the real and the raw in its entirety for better and for worse when it comes to raising little humans.⠀⠀
Read More