Self-care but where?

To the mums out there who have gone through yet another day of no proper “self-care”, I know what it’s like.⠀

I know you are trying. Each morning you promise yourself you will have some time for yourself today. Some days you even tell your husband that he needs to make sure you do it, because you just can’t trust yourself to get it done. You read things online which remind you throughout the day that you must make it happen. You deserve it. This is part of being a good mum. It doesn’t make you selfish. ⠀

But despite your best intentions to read a book, light a candle, do a workout, meditate, paint your nails or have a long bath, it just doesn’t happen. ⠀

Your self-care looks like sitting in the car and concentrating on the white lines passing you at speed while your child sleeps in the back.⠀

It looks like sitting on the toilet for too long because you haven’t heard anything break in the living room since you left.⠀

It looks like sprinting to get your toddler who is halfway down the driveway, or squatting to pick your child up at regular intervals because they are having a bad day.⠀⠀

It looks like going to the supermarket alone and sitting in your car at the end of the driveway when you get home listening to some mindless chat on the radio.⠀

That’s the reality of self-care for some of us. ⠀And as another day passes you are hard on yourself for not getting it done. ⠀

The guilt you feel is almost as heavy as that which you feel when you do take time for yourself. Almost. ⠀

So you tell yourself tomorrow will be another day and the cycle starts again.⠀

Recently I have been changing my own narrative.⠀Rightly or wrongly I tell myself that while as mothers we do need to prioritise self-care, for many of us it’s a work in progress. ⠀

So as I sit in the car following a long trip of silence, I am content that for today I have had some time for myself. No, it wasn’t my ideal self-care plan and so no, I didn’t prioritise myself fully but no, I’m not going to feel guilty about that.⠀

Why? ⠀

Because as a mother I feel enough unnecessary guilt every day as it is.⠀

I’m just going to take today as progress because, after all, something is better than nothing.