What she thought she knew

She thought she would sit in a cafe for hours while her baby napped, she drank coffee and chatted with her friends.⠀ ⠀

She thought that she would have time to keep the house tidy and the gardens immaculate while her child played on a mat surrounded by toys and snacks.⠀ ⠀

She thought she would prepare all meals from scratch, make packed lunches and always have frozen meals in the freezer.⠀ ⠀

She thought she would be out late at night for dinner and at long lunches with her friends while her child moulded in with her life completely.⠀ ⠀

She thought that she would fit into her old clothes in the same way, have time to workout on her terms and have a neat mum wardrobe filled with fashionable active wear and pearly white sneakers. ⠀ ⠀

She thought wrong because she didn’t know.⠀ ⠀

She now knows that she can only sit in a cafe for half an hour at best before a wake, a spill, or a tantrum. She buys takeaway coffee while dining in just in case, any food she attempts to eat is cold or shared and any chat is short lived.⠀ ⠀

She now knows that she can garden and clean but only when her child naps, only IF her child naps and any self-occupation/time ON the mat is fleeting with a toddler, no matter the variety of snacks and toys.⠀ ⠀

She now knows that feeding her child processed food and bought lunches is sometimes necessary and generally the only things “frozen” are the vegetables she puts on the side of the plate for balance.⠀ ⠀

She now knows that going out late at night or for long lunches is a bad idea because nap time is the worst time to be out in a overstimulated environment with a child. ⠀ ⠀

She now knows that most of her pre-mum clothes are not worth keeping, workouts are never fully on her terms, and her wardrobe is largely made up of nothing white and everything comfort over style. ⠀ ⠀

She knows all of this,⠀
Now,⠀
But she will never know how it is possible to love another human as much as she does now,
Never.