Posts in Mums the Word
The mum lady

She was wearing a spotless blazer and an uncreased white silk blouse.⠀⠀
Her straightened hair blew in the wind almost in sync with the split at the back of her pencil shirt.⠀⠀
She held with her left hand to her chest her laptop bag and on her right arm her discreet leather handbag.
Her heels were high but that didn’t stop her.

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One day

One day I will look back on this time like a distant memory and when that day comes...⠀

I won’t say I wish that I spent more time cleaning, that I had time to iron my clothes, that the dishes needed more of my attention.⠀

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Your constants

For nearly two months it’s just been the three of us in our own we bubble. You, your father and I.⠀Although the days were all very much the same, there was the comfort of familiarity in uncertain times. ⠀Other than connections through the screen, our attention was rarely diverted nor our time shared with anyone else but each other. ⠀We have been to each other what we have needed in these unprecedented times, the constants.

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It is more than the sleep

Finally, progress.⠀

I still wake up when she used to in the early hours of the morning but I don’t need to go anywhere because she’s still in dreamland. After months of an exhausting regression, finally there is some more time under the comfort of the covers rather than lying on the floor beside the cot. ⠀

Finally, progress.⠀
Well, sort of.⠀

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"I'm just a mum"

You are not just a mum, you are someone’s everything.⠀

Their world.⠀

Their protector.⠀

Their comfort.⠀

In you they see a level of safety no one else can provide. ⠀

In you they trust absolutely.⠀

Just doesn’t come into it. ⠀

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The beauty of time

Between these four walls there is not much change right now. Each day is long and each night cannot come quickly enough. We not in a rush to be anywhere or to do anything, and the scenery is much the same. Well, that’s how it feels right now.⠀ 

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The motherhood juggle

The motherhood juggle. It comes with constant overwhelm, intense guilt and extreme exhaustion. ⠀ ⠀

Children, employment, housework, gardening, socialising and spending time with your husband and wider family. There are so many balls in the air, all the time. Some balls are heavier than others but every day you try to control their path by keeping them in motion and catching them before they fall. It’s hard and tiring work which often rids you of personal time, personal care and personal sanity. ⠀ ⠀

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Daddy Daycare

When you leave your child with their dad on their own for the first time:

1. You prepare everything for them. There is no room for error.

2. You explain the instructions repeatedly.

3. You ask them to confirm that they understand repeatedly.

4. You drive out the gate.

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I free you

Dear body,⠀ ⠀

I have been upset at you recently. Through my miscarriage I felt that you failed me. I felt that you didn’t pay attention to my hurt and tested my patience because I often have tested yours.⠀ ⠀

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Inner child

Tonight you helped me.
It’s meant to be the other way around, I know that. I should be teaching you, leading you and settling you. Normally I do, but tonight it didn’t work like that. We had been travelling for hours. You were fed up, I was fed up, your dad was fed up. It was fair enough. We all had our reasons.

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