The past

Recently we were in the city
We drove the streets one night
We did it in the car as a family
It was a thought provoking sight.

The streets were perfectly lit
The restaurants completely packed
I lowered the passenger window
To hear everyone socially interact.

I could hear glasses clinking
A buzz of excitement in the air
There were women wearing dresses
Makeup on with straightened hair.

There were men in shirts and jeans
Yarning loudly with green bottles
Some were smoking outside
Others already had the wobbles.

The engagement levels were strong
One’s attention rarely diverted
Only to order another drink
Or to check out who had just flirted.

There was not one pram in sight
No young children causing havoc
There were no women breastfeeding
Or mothers looking manic.

It took me back to an earlier time
Post university, before becoming mum
When going out was enjoyable
We always had so much fun.

For a moment I thought, I pondered
About my different former life
A time when could do what I wanted
A time when independence was rife.

My dreams were quickly ended
As mum guilt overtook over my brain
“I am ungrateful to even think that”
“Don’t ever think that again!”

The car trip soon concluded
I thought “Gosh don’t be daft”
I’m not a bad mum or ungrateful
We’re allowed to think of the past.

It’s part of our history, our story
It makes us the mothers we are
We can miss it sometimes, it’s natural
Remember, we have come so far.

Before motherhood we were someone
During we are someone too
After motherhood we will change again
Each stage makes you you.