They don’t get a perfect mum.
They get a mum who can’t find the second sock.
The mum who wears her hair up and lop-sided always.
The mum who leaves the washed clothes in the washing machine for too long, and the cake in the oven for not long enough.
Read MoreI love them,
But I’m tired.
I’m always so tired.
I’m tired from little sleep, so many emotions, the constantness of it all.
When will it end?
But please don’t,
Because everything else that comes with it might end too.
Because this is such a wholesome chapter.
I’m so empty but full.
When things all get a little too much.
When you are caught in a situation that feels completely helpless.
When enough has been enough today.
Read MoreNot loving every moment of motherhood is normal, but so too is loving them more than anything through it all.
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Not being a picture of calm every minute of every day is normal, but so too is carrying on as best as you can afterwards.
Read MoreOverwhelmed Mama,
When you get a moment, stop what you’re doing, unclench your jaw and take a deep breath.
Just stop.
Please just stop.
It’s so important to just stop.
Read MoreSometimes I just want to go to the toilet in peace,
I just want to hear anything but crying,
I just want to finish a page of my book or three of theirs without a tantrum,
But sometimes it’s just not possible.
Read MoreI’m holding my baby who just wants to be held, while watching my toddler about to do something she shouldn’t, again.
Im wearing my husband’s hoody and eating leftovers from my child’s plate, again.
I’m using a teaspoon because the forks are in the dishwasher unwashed, again.
I’m forgetting to breathe while I eat, again.
Read MoreOne day we’ll sit together and you will ask me about this time.
We will peruse the old photos of us, and talk about the stage of life you won’t remember a lot of but which I’ll never be able to forget. The beautiful and chaotic stage of little hands and feet, of big mess and emotions.
Read MoreI need to remind myself more,
That it doesn’t matter if I wear makeup or not.
Or if my clothes are fancy or second hand.
Or if my hair is done or messy.
As long as I’m comfortable however I look, all they want to see me wear is a smile.
I’m caught up in them.
You’ll find me sitting up in bed under dim lighting and sprawled sheets at night feeding him every few hours.
Read MoreThe days right now consist of a lot of the mundane.
Changing nappies, wiping faces, finding breast pads, routine swaddling, cleaning sheets, soaking stains, hanging washing, using washing before it’s put away, finding sippy cups, sterilising breast pumps, feeding snacks, assembling something edible for dinner, scrubbing elephant shaped plates, bathing them, bathing them again, picking up toys, picking up clothes, picking up crusts, picking up everything for everyone.
Read MoreYesterday I was the surviving mum.⠀
I supervised screen time, we had takeaways for dinner and the washing was left on the clothes line.⠀
I was the let anything go mum, the let’s write off today mum, the let’s try that tomorrow mum.⠀
My fuse was short, my brain unmotivated, and my body tired.⠀
Wake time came too early and bedtime couldn’t come early enough.⠀
Nothing got achieved other than a huge pile of dishes, more washing and an overwhelming sense of guilt.⠀
Read MoreThrough the stages of this season you can sometimes ask yourself, “can I get through this”?⠀⠀⠀
Can I get through the pregnancy?⠀⠀⠀
It may be the sickness, the hormones, the fatigue.⠀⠀⠀
It may be the toddler demands, the work pressures or the lack of support.⠀⠀⠀
It may be all of the above, or some of the above, but you get there, ⠀⠀⠀
Read MoreIf only you knew,⠀
Not always giving you what you want is to help you, not hurt you.⠀
The lollies you reach for at breakfast, the scissors you want to play with and the thistles you long to pick like flowers. ⠀
I stop you because I’m protecting you.⠀
The worry for you is relentless, even if you think I’m stealing your happiness. ⠀
One day I hope you understand,⠀
One day I hope you know,⠀
But for now please be patient.
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