I mustn’t forget

I need to remind myself more,
That it doesn’t matter if I wear makeup or not.
Or if my clothes are fancy or second hand.
Or if my hair is done or messy.
As long as I’m comfortable however I look, all they want to see me wear is a smile.

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I need to remind myself more,
That it doesn’t matter if the lines on my body are growing in size and permanency. They are what got me here and gave me them. They each tell a story. And the current chapter of life, of them, is one I never want to erase.

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I need to remind myself more,
That people will continue to judge the decisions I make as a mother, but they do not determine the mother I am. It is only those who share their days, nights and hearts with me who have the full picture and can truly judge. They may let me know one day and I will listen.

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I need to remind myself more,
Of all the things I didn’t get done today, there are 100 things I did. Smiles, cuddles and play are the sometimes silent achievements that can be left unacknowledged but are the things we will both remember. They are deserving of most of my time and energy.

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I need to remind myself more,
That it’s ok to find it hard some days and to question in these moments whether it should be “this hard”.
Feeling this way does not make me less of a mother, it makes me human.
Because Motherhood can be hard. It can be “this hard”.
Thankfully these bad days and moments shall pass, but the beautiful memories of them will not.

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I need to remind myself more.
That I am not “just” a mum. I am doing some of the most important work. The work that creates the future, and benefits the world. There is no pay for the work I do because no pay could ever be enough. It’s just that simple.

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I need to remind myself more,
That everything may have to wait but I am their everything.
That doing my best is the best I can ask for.
That doing enough some days is more than enough.
In fact,
I mustn’t let myself forget.