One day we will be in their shoes.
Our body will be less able, things will take longer and we will need to plan more.
We will rely on others to help us, we will have more time in the day to do what we need to but less time in the years to do what we want to.
Read MoreThis is what family time looks like for us right now. The three of us at the new renovation property with Mark scraping windows, me inside painting and both of us supervising Lottie in the puddle below the porch.
Read MoreMy heart broke as I saw the pain in your eyes and your quivering lip. I felt helpless and sorry. Even though you were a complete stranger, I wanted to help you through your darkest hour.
Read MoreSometimes I can’t wait to hand you over, just for a moment, so I can mop the floor, hang the washing out and have a cup of tea.
Sometimes you don’t want to go into the arms of another but I need it, just for a moment, so that I can have my independence, you can learn to trust and someone else can benefit from your cuddles.
Read MoreThe motherhood juggle. It comes with constant overwhelm, intense guilt and extreme exhaustion. ⠀ ⠀
Children, employment, housework, gardening, socialising and spending time with your husband and wider family. There are so many balls in the air, all the time. Some balls are heavier than others but every day you try to control their path by keeping them in motion and catching them before they fall. It’s hard and tiring work which often rids you of personal time, personal care and personal sanity. ⠀ ⠀
Read MoreAs many of you who have been following my IG stories for a while now will know that we were without a fully operating fridge for 10 weeks a few months ago. It would only last 3 hours before beeping away because the heat wasn’t regulating and more often than not the inside was warmer than room temperature. In hindsight this was possibly responsible for the serious case of food poisoning which Mark and I feel victim to for two days.
Read MoreWhen you leave your child with their dad on their own for the first time:
1. You prepare everything for them. There is no room for error.
2. You explain the instructions repeatedly.
3. You ask them to confirm that they understand repeatedly.
4. You drive out the gate.
Read MoreWhen you look in the mirror you see things you sometimes don’t want to. ⠀ The tummy boldge,⠀
The stretch marks,⠀
The dimples peeping out from the bottom of your shorts.⠀
You decide to make your physical health a priority.⠀
You don’t think about changing the mental aspects of the problem.
It’s a natural response.⠀ ⠀
Dear body,⠀ ⠀
I have been upset at you recently. Through my miscarriage I felt that you failed me. I felt that you didn’t pay attention to my hurt and tested my patience because I often have tested yours.⠀ ⠀
Read MoreWe all feel vulnerable sometimes. ⠀ During the long nights that rid us of our sanity.⠀
The challenging days that test our patience like no other.⠀
The moments of self-doubt about all aspects of our parenting which kick us when we are down.
Read MoreRecently we were in the city
We drove the streets one night
We did it in the car as a family
It was a thought provoking sight.
Read MoreTo the lady we passed on the street today, thank you.
You smiled at her and then you smiled at me. I didn’t know who you were but it made me warm inside. She was the trigger but it didn’t matter. I reaped the rewards too.
Read MorePatience. It’s a virtue because it’s seen as important and valuable. I agree it’s deserving of the title. However, I don’t agree that I should be one of those unfortunate people of whom it is not naturally bestowed.
Read MoreIt’s different now.
Success is quantified differently.
It’s not about having a clear inbox, smashing budgets and being efficient within the work day.
It’s about having a messy house, witnessing other’s milestones and going at someone else’s pace.
When you have no energy to give, you give it.
Every ounce of you aches,
Every part of you breaks,
You give everything and more.
Tonight you helped me.
It’s meant to be the other way around, I know that. I should be teaching you, leading you and settling you. Normally I do, but tonight it didn’t work like that. We had been travelling for hours. You were fed up, I was fed up, your dad was fed up. It was fair enough. We all had our reasons.
You light up the world
With your tiny hands and toes
Your contagious giggles
Your small button nose.
When people see you they smile
They feel immense joy
You take them back to a time
With their own girl or boy.
Read MoreTwo years ago things were different.
We didn’t celebrate today because you don’t support commercialism.
I have learnt to live with that.
We did however enjoy each other’s company over a quiet dinner out. It was just the two of us.
There was no bath time routine to tend to, no chaotic mess to clean up and no finger food to prepare.
Read More Dear mumma,
I see you.
Underneath the dark bags which hang from your eyes, the deep wrinkles in your forehead and the untidy messy bun which sits on the top of your head, you are plagued with self-consciousness.
Read MoreWe had a good day today (she says with hesitation). There were few cries, uninterrupted sleeps and big smiles from both of us.
We were due a good day (she says with a little less hesitation). It has been a week of endless cries, interrupted sleeps and no smiles from both of us.
Read More