The thing about motherhood is that there is often no room for much other than the truest version of you.
The unedited at 2.00am version.
Read MoreI’m trying my best.
I hope they can see that.
When my eyes do not meet theirs when they need them to, it’s not because I don’t want them to.
Read MoreI remember this familiar ache.
My body feels exhausted, and raw.
My hands now mourning the bump that has been replaced by empty skin.
Read MoreThis is the first time I’ve caught a break today and I have been working since 11.pm last night. That’s when my night shift began. I was up every few hours keeping someone else alive.
Read More“Don’t wish it away”.
That’s what they say.
And they mean it, they feel it, from in their own day.
Read MoreMy oldest friends,
We’ve known each other for years, yet it’s been months (if not years), since we’ve caught up. Adulthood has immersed us in our own new worlds.
Read MoreTo the mother about to expand your family,
I’ve been there twice now.
I know you are worried about what’s to come. How will your oldest adjust to the new? How will you make time for everyone? Is there any more room for the guilt you already know awaits you?
Read MoreSix weeks.
It’s been six weeks since I brought my baby earth size. Since I pushed my body to it’s limits, turning myself inside out to be pieced back together by a love that seems to good to be true.
Read MoreMy birth was beautiful. As someone who has always birthed quickly, I had missed the opportunity for water births previously. My plan this time was to try and make that happen. We did and it was incredible.
What happened next was not in the plan. No one plans for it.
Read MoreWe walk out the hospital doors together.
He carries our baby, and I carry my body.
Them first. Me second.
Read MoreShe doesn’t recognise herself.
She looks in the reflection and sees someone new.
Stomach empty, yet still heavy like a waterbed.
Read MoreIt didn’t go as planned.
I planned to be snuggling my newborn baby which I had just birthed, not being taken in an ambulance to the nearest hospital.
Read MoreI am responsible for these moments.
For soaking in this precious time with my baby, rather than the guilt of everything else I feel like I should be doing. Because my baby won’t always need me in this way, but the dishes will always be waiting.
Read MoreMy love for my children isn’t always what everyone else sees.
It’s not just in the kisses and hugs I take photos of and share.
Read MoreI’m not sure if this is the last time.
The last time I feel sensation of life stirring inside of me.
The last time my body grows every inch of a human being, and I grow with it.
Read MoreMy birth was beautiful. As someone who has always birthed quickly, I had missed the opportunity for water births previously. My plan this time was to try and make that happen. We did and it was incredible.
Read MoreWe walk out the hospital doors together.
He carries our baby, and I carry my body.
Them first. Me second.
Read MoreSome truths about my third trimester:
I’m constantly exhausted. My body is heavy. I wonder how I will hold up and show up each day for my two little ones when my body just wants to lie down.
Read More