My birth was beautiful. As someone who has always birthed quickly, I had missed the opportunity for water births previously. My plan this time was to try and make that happen. We did and it was incredible.
Read MoreWe walk out the hospital doors together.
He carries our baby, and I carry my body.
Them first. Me second.
Read MoreSome truths about my third trimester:
I’m constantly exhausted. My body is heavy. I wonder how I will hold up and show up each day for my two little ones when my body just wants to lie down.
Read MoreI’m mourning what I have.
The time with just us, and what has become our new normal.
The mother I’ve become. One whose attention has been split, but somehow her love undivided.
Read MoreThis is the body that has carried more than my children.
It has held me, as much as it has held them.
It has walked me through every stage of my life so far.
Read MoreNo one really talks about how challenging the transition from perfectionist to parent can be.
Or how parenting as a perfectionist can consume so much of the energy you don’t have.
Before motherhood, I was a perfectionist in many aspects of my life.
Read MoreI didn’t know what I was getting into when I entered motherhood.
And years on, I still don’t really know.
But neither did you.
I forget that sometimes.
Read MorePregnancy has shaped more than my body.
It has shaped my mind and heart.
Because there is so much involved with carrying a baby, much more than the physical weight.
It’s the weight of the worry.
Read MoreSometimes I give them screen time because I need a shower and I want one long enough to wash my hair for the first time in a week.
Read MoreI’m in it for keeps.
I knew this as soon as I held you.
I wrapped my arms around you, and motherhood wrapped it’s arms around me.
At that point, nothing had come close to holding me so close to my own heart.
Read MorePregnancy has shaped more than my body.
It has shaped my mind and heart.
Because there is so much involved with carrying a baby, much more than the physical weight.
Read MoreHow today has looked (and it’s only 11.00am).
I wake up tired.
My bladder and other children meant a night of broken sleep.
Read MoreThey say you forget.
When you tell them about the long nights, the early mornings, and the constant need to be “on”.
Read MoreI stay up late every night, even though I’m exhausted.
Even though the sensible option would be to get an early night.
Even though I regret it every morning.
And I have my reasons.
Read MoreI think about that woman sometimes.
The one who had just given birth to a new life, including her own.
The one who was completely unsure about anything other than how much love she had for the little body on hers.
Read MoreTruth be told I’m not that okay
I’m tired, wired, and looking less than desired
But at the same time
I’m better than great
Read MoreThe pep talk I think we all should be given as we leave the fourth trimester:
⠀
This is not over. You will still be tired. Perhaps even more so than before. Your children will get bigger, and so will their emotions. They may not sleep through for some time, and that is normal. So you may find it even harder. Be gentle with yourself at every turn. Postpartum doesn’t end.
Read MoreThey were right about you.
You go fast, and slow.
The days blur into one.
The nights feel endless.
Read More