The pep talk we all need

The pep talk I think we all should be given as we leave the fourth trimester:

⠀

This is not over. You will still be tired. Perhaps even more so than before. Your children will get bigger, and so will their emotions. They may not sleep through for some time, and that is normal. So you may find it even harder. Be gentle with yourself at every turn. Postpartum doesn’t end.

⠀

Wait until you are ready to share your body intimately again. Your body has been through a lot. It is allowed to heal, just as you are. Respect every part of it. Body and mind. That is what you deserve.

⠀

You are not forgotten. Or less worthy. You may feel like that often, because of some unrealistic expectation that you know enough now or that you will be alright on your own, but try not to let that make you lose sight of the truth. You are still the most important person in someone’s life. You are still needed. To them, you are not just a trimester. You are a forever.

⠀

You don’t need to “bounce back”. Having a baby may have changed you in every sense. And you are so often celebrated for your matrescence. Your mental shift into motherhood. But your body is worthy of celebrating too. For if you carried your baby, every physical change (whether visible or not) is what made you a mother too.

⠀

You may be going back to work outside of the home. You may be remaining in the home working. You may start working outside of mothering but within the home. Or some combination of all. Everyone will have an opinion no matter what you do work-wise, or at every step of your motherhood journey. But not everyone is living in your exact circumstances. Remember that. This is your motherhood.

⠀

Please ask for help when you need it. You WILL still need it. And when everything starts to go quiet, you have every right to be loud, understood and heard.

Because at the end of the day you may be “signed off” officially, but you never really check out from every single part that comes with mothering on.