Knowing more doesn't mean needing less

As you move through your motherhood journey, and have subsequent children, you become more experienced.
And this is generally because doing things more than once, no matter what that thing you are doing subsequently, lends itself to knowing more.
But when it comes to motherhood, knowing more doesn’t necessarily mean needing less.
Here’s why.

You don’t need to be a new mother to find it hard, or new, or overwhelming.
Experience doesn’t stop it feeling this way.
There are always new firsts and lasts. New moments of hard, and beautiful. New habits and growth.
For them and for you.
Because you are growing with your child.
You are growing into it together and out of each other.
Because you are moving through one stage to another.

The hourly wakes with a newborn. They get replaced with unruly tantrums.
The breastfeeding troubles. They may be replaced with a fussiness for solids.

The teething. That will be replaced with toddler bumps and bruises.
The initial birthing complications. They may eventually result in long term injuries.

And it doesn’t stop there.

The first tantrum. That will be replaced with the first broken heart.
The first hug. That will be replaced with the first door slam.
The first “Mama”. That will be replaced with the first “Mum”.
The first night away. That will be replaced with the first day at school.
The first day at school. That will be replaced with the last day at home.

Because that’s the thing.
The new and older, the firsts and lasts, the easy and hard, continues.
This mustn’t be forgotten.
The ongoing changes mustn’t be disregarded.
The ongoing struggles shouldn’t be hidden under experience.

Motherhood is fluid.
Childhood is fluid.
Both keep changing.
Both keep flowing, regardless of what conditions are at play.

So no matter where you are in your motherhood journey.
No matter how old your child is.
No matter how many other children you may or may not have.
Be comforted in the fact that your feelings in the now are valid.
Know that your now isn’t easier or harder because of your before.
Know that support is needed at every stage.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Emma Heaphy for Mumli