Good baby

People ask me whether you’re a good baby.

And if I’m honest that question irks me a little.

Even though it’s meant with the most love, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

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You see,

You can be a good sleeper.

And you are a good feeder most of the time.

And you are good at cuddling, and smiling, and making life easy for me most of the time.

Is that what people mean by good?

I guess it does,

By their standards.

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But you also sometimes have unsettled nights.

And at the start your latch was slightly awkward.

And you sometimes cry, can be fussy, and want nothing I’m trying to give.

Is that what other people mean by not so good?

I guess it does,

By their standards.

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But guess what.

I’m not other people.

I’m your mum.

And only standard I have is whether you are human.

Because regardless of size and age we are all human.

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Being human is having good and bad moments.

It’s feeling different emotions daily, sometimes all at once.

It’s doing our best with what we know and the tools we have at the time, at any given time.

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At your stage it means trying to sleep without me sometimes when you don’t know how, crying to communicate because you can’t talk yet, and fussing when things feel too big for you.

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At my stage it means showing up for you no matter how tired I am, trying to read your wants and needs no matter how hard and just generally trying no matter what.

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Neither of us will always get it right.

And when we don’t, we should not be defined as good or not so good.

Because moments are moments.

They pass.

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So just so you know,

To me, you are not a good or not so good baby.

You are a little human who has good and bad moments,

Just like I do.

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To me, you are more than a moment, or a series of moments,

So much more.

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To me, you are perfect.

Exactly as you are,

Exactly as you do,

Exactly as you be,

Good and not so good, perfect and not so perfect, moments included.