30 point turn
How am I thirty?
I’m thirty. Thirty? Thirty?! THIRTY!!
I achieved this milestone on 10 November 2019. Where on earth did a third of my life go?
Mark asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Here were my thoughts on the matter:
1. I’d love a Dyson vacuum cleaner. I am cleaning so much these days I might as well make it easier on myself…
*Interruption.
“Lottie get your hands out of the cat bowl”.
2. A new camera would be a good idea but perhaps that would be a waste of money because we need to save for Lottie’s bike…
*Interruption.
“Lottie, give that here please (as she holds my cellphone above her head and then mic-drops it onto the ground smashing the screen)”.
Where was I? Oh yeah, a new camera. No that probably wouldn’t be sensible.
3. What would really like is a ride on lawn mower. Whatever I can do to make my chores more efficient.
*Dead silence.
“F***” (internal exclamation of course).
I run around to look for Lottie who is 10 cm away from putting a ball of cat litter stuck together with cat turd into her mouth.
4. I’d love a better coffee machine but can we justify it? Remember we wanted to take Lottie to see Susy Cato in Christchurch?
*Interruption.
“Yes, Lottie I am listening to you”.
“Yes, I am mum”. That’s not getting annoying (internal thought, of course).
“That’s right. Good girl”.
What was I saying? Oh yeah, Susy Cato. Who is she again?
5. I’d love a Bambillo mattress topper. Whatever I can get my hands on to give me the best chance at the achieving a deep sleep…
*My mind wanders to dreamland.
Oh sleep. I’d kill for a twenty-minute nap. I’m sick of these headaches from fatigue.
“Ouch. F***” (accidental external exclamation as Lottie yanks my hair).
6. I could do with a new set of kitchen knives but they are probably not a priority…
*Interruption.
“Yes, Lottie I will just be a minute”.
We will have our second child soon so…
*Interruption number two.
“Ok Lottie. Yes, I know. You can’t wait”.
Sorry, I’ve lost my train of thought.
Oh yes, the second child.
You need to actually have sex for that. Too tired.
When I look at list in black at white, and get over the shock of becoming everything I never thought I would be (#domestic) it certainly makes me think about how my priorities have changed.
My 20th birthday list probably looked something like this:
1. I’d love a new pair of white converse sneakers.
*Interruption by a flatmate.
“Yeah another Smirnoff double black would be great, thanks”.
[Skulls half the can].
2. Tickets to Rhythm and Vines would be pretty epic. I went last year and we camped with thousands of others in one campground. We were drunk 90% of the time.
“Hangovers”? You just drink them off”.
[Skulls the rest of the can].
3. Have you seen the new Karen Walker necklace range? I’d quite like one of them but I’m unsure if I want to spend that much money on one piece of jewellery when I could get like five dresses for that price.
*Interrupted by my internal thought process which prioritises clubbing over almost everything else.
“What time do we need to leave here to get to town”?
“15 minutes?”
“We don’t have much time. Let’s do shots”
[Does 4 shots].
4. What was I talking about? Oh yyyeeeerrrhhh.That rite.mybirthdaylist. How good would a…
*Interruption one.
“Yeah let’s do a selfie”.
[Has another shot and before blasting “Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone” #diehardTaylorSwiftfan to the soundtrack with the rest of the 10 girls piled into the 2 m x 2 m wide flat bedroom]
Would a…
*Interruption two.
“Yrr I dunt like this dress n0 more. Ima guna change”.
[Has another shot].
Would a. Soz. Wat-you wan know0 girl?
[Sways profusely].
[Comers out and misses going to town].
**Disclaimer: I was not harmed in the making of this list. At University, shots were always the death of me and very rarely did I partake unless it was my birthday or I was too drunk to tell the difference between a shot and a glass of wine.
Life is made up of different stages. I believe this is important. If they were all the same it would be boring. There would be little room for improvement, reflection and healthy comparisons. Each stage is the setting for how we grow, how we learn and how we flourish.
Even though my 20’s seemed like yesterday, the reality is that it was 10 years ago now. I have come a long way from my University days when I had the “work hard play hard” mentality, when all I had to think about was me and only me. However, this was an important time in my life. A time I wouldn’t change for the world. It has helped me to get to where I am today.
As I commence my thirtieth year, I know that during the next decade I am going to be faced with different challenges and experiences. My goal is to cherish each and every one because one thing is for sure, life really does pass before our eyes.