The beautiful predicament

Soon it will be different.⠀

I may not be able to comfort her in the way I have come to know. ⠀

Straight away, smiling with her embrace, being her everything right then right now.⠀

I’ll try, but I can’t be sure.⠀

I’ll always comfort her, and be there for her even when she doesn’t think she needs me, but change is brewing. ⠀

I know it is.⠀

Of course it is. ⠀

I’m going from one to two after all. ⠀

⠀

As I approach the final stretch of my pregnancy, this is perhaps my biggest worry.⠀

It’s not about the birth, or the feeding or the postpartum changes like it was the first time around.⠀

It’s about what will change for us, for our connection, for how we operate.⠀

⠀

At the moment I can be there right away, I can answer to her there and then, and all my energy is hers to have.⠀

But soon things will look different.⠀

It may look like me getting to her, but late.⠀

It may look like me trying to comfort her, but after depleted energy has stolen my smile.⠀

It may look like our one on one time is instead having to be two on one.⠀

⠀

It may look like a lot of things, which are different to our current. ⠀

It also may look like nothing I am describing, because it’s different to what I imagine. ⠀

I just don’t know what different will be the new normal. ⠀

⠀

What I do know is that I am elated to be growing our family and to meet the new addition. ⠀

But the predicament still exists.⠀

I still only have two hands and one heart.⠀

They will soon need to be shared. ⠀

I want to be there for my first little in the same way I have been,⠀

But I also want to be there for my second little in the same way at the same time.⠀

Is this possible?⠀

Maybe not.⠀

Am I being greedy?⠀

Maybe I am. ⠀

Is this a normal feeling?⠀

Maybe, I have no clue.⠀

⠀

But what a beautiful predicament to be in,⠀

And how lucky I am to have this be my biggest problem. ⠀

⠀