The motherhood ride

Do you ever imagine what motherhood would look like without the tired factor? ⠀ ⠀

I do.⠀ ⠀

The early morning wakes wouldn’t matter.⠀ The endless “pick me ups” would be fine.⠀ The late nights for “me time” wouldn’t come at a cost.⠀ I dream of this now as I navigate through the sleep training methods and the lockdown.⠀ But that’s all it is, a dream.⠀ ⠀

The reality is that tiredness is a big part of motherhood. It is always there to some degree but level in which it plays a role from day to day varies.⠀ ⠀ Right now the role it plays in my motherhood story seems huge. ⠀ One grizzle from my little shadow or one personal “failing” and I’m on edge more than normal. ⠀ I’m finding the smallest of things the biggest of deals and the easiest of tasks the hardest to achieve. ⠀ ⠀

Today: ⠀
I couldn’t even light the fire with fire starters.
I burnt the (boiled) potatoes twice in a row (it is possible).⠀
Hanging out one load of washing which remains in the washing machine seemed like a mammoth task.⠀
This post itself has proved difficult to write as stringing two sentences together right now feels foreign. It is not be perfect by any means but that’s my whole point.

When tiredness gets the better of us, everything is a little harder. However, tiredness as a mother doesn’t just go away. Nor does it derive solely from lack of sleep. It’s also the result of running after little ones all day, cleaning when they rest and constantly thinking about everyone else before yourself. It’s relentless and all consuming.⠀ ⠀

Motherhood is about riding the waves when you feel confident to do so and diving under them when you need to. ⠀ ⠀

So if you need to, take a leaf out of my book and:⠀
Use the heat pump rather than the fire to heat the house;
Eat spaghetti on toast for dinner rather then meat and three vege;⠀
Use the dryer rather than the washing line.

It’s about survival not succeeding sometimes.