My legs

My legs.

They’re normally hidden under more than my bump.

They’re hidden under leggings, jeans, longer dresses and skirts.

They were my favourite part of my body once. But after having children they’ve become my biggest insecurity.⠀

They’re not bruised, or hairy.

Although it looks like it.

They’re covered covered in varicose veins.

With each pregnancy they get worse, and they spread further.⠀

But it’s more than aesthetics.

They hurt. In the heat they swell. It feels like my legs will burst. I get stinging pains when I wake up. I physically have to put my feet up, often.

And they can be serious too. They can clot. I had a clot when pregnant with my second. Thankfully it wasn’t a deep vein clot which can be life-threatening. But it was excruciating. I was forced to rest. And with a toddler, that made for many hard days.

Sharing this takes a lot for me. This is probably one of my most vulnerable posts to date. Others may not get that.

But here’s the thing.

They are my biggest insecurity.

It’s hard to learn to love them when it doesn’t feel like they are loveable.

When I come online, I see photos and photos of stretch marks, and c-section scars, and soft bodies with dimples. And don’t get me wrong, they are beautiful, so beautiful. It’s so important to see these sorts of lines and bodies.⠀

But what about the lines I have? I almost never see them online, but I know others have them. It makes me wonder if they are less worthy of beauty, or as “ugly” as I have so often told myself.

I am talking about this because I want anyone else with these sort of lines anywhere on their body to know that they are not alone. That this IS another side effect of pregnancy, ageing, and growth.

To show others that these different lines are still worthy of time online, love, and the sparkly filters (or none at all). That some bodies look like this too.⠀

To show myself that they don’t need to be hidden. That they deserve to be shared and celebrated. That they are reminders of what my body has given me: my children.⠀

My legs.

They are my insecurity.

And I’m trying really hard to learn to love them again.