No going back

I’m constantly ahead, but always behind.

That’s how it can feel.

My mind is always steps ahead, because my family needs it to be.

I’m sorting what I need to get for dinner tonight, the Christmas presents for kindergarten next week, all while I’m scheduling the kids’ dentist appointments for next month.

Yet I am still behind with so many things.

I have a washing pile in our end room that keeps getting bigger by the hour. I have more and more emails being marked as “unread”. I have a car that desperately needs a clean.

And then there’s myself.

Where do I even start?

This is the season I’m in.

I’m ahead,

And behind.

But I have these babies close to me right now.

I get to have them ahead of me.

And while I do, all those little things - the things that make me feel like I’m falling behind - can wait.

Because right now the most important thing is them, us, and the moments we have together.

I need to hold them close,

And enjoy being the one to get them ahead,

Because before long, these days - these slow, messy days - will be behind us,

And there’s no going back.