I'm still a woman who...

Even if you have all the games in the world, get out for play dates often or have visitors regularly, the days at home can sometimes be long and mundane. ⠀⠀

Certainly with younger children many of them consist of one sided conversation and much of the same of, well, just the same as yesterday, last week and last month. ⠀⠀

The same favourite books to read, the same washing basket to empty, the same feeding times, the same sleeping times and all within the same four walls.⠀⠀

Counting down the time is not uncommon on these days. ⠀⠀

Counting down to when the other half is home, to bedtime or just any chance you have to break the same mundane familiarity that some days consist of. ⠀⠀

I used to think that feeling this way made me lesser of a mum, or ungrateful somehow. ⠀⠀

But I’m not. ⠀⠀

I’m still a woman who has a brain and that craves stimulation by way of adult conversation, just in the way I used to have but without needing to seek it out.⠀⠀

I’m still a woman who has personal goals not pertaining to motherhood and looks forward to pockets of time where I can feel that my focus can be diverted there, just in the way I used to but without needing to reserve that time to the one narrow slot called nap time.⠀⠀

I’m still a woman who enjoys socialising and gets excited when there is an opportunity to wear something nice and drink and eat platters I didn’t prepare, just in the way I used to but without needing to worry about what it may mean for my duties the next day. ⠀⠀

In my view, just because you crave something other than the sameness of some days in motherhood, doesn’t mean anything other than you want to check in with your old same pre- motherhood self.⠀⠀It’s that simple.

And I find when I do, she’s right there, telling me to peace out, and thanking me for taking the time to do so because it’s just the boost I need to tackle the next day which may be the same, but differently. ⠀⠀