A new love

I’m having a baby,

And it feels like you’re still a baby.

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You’re so small, and dependent.

Your body still fits inside the outline of mine.

Our nights still lead us to each other.

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You’re so young, and vulnerable.

Our time together has been only short.

Your needs still as many as they once were.

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You’re so completely naive to what’s coming.

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But I want to tell you,

Even though you won’t understand just yet.

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I want to tell you that Mummy is having another baby.

He or she will be smaller than you,

And will live in our house with us,

And will want lots of my time, day and night.

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But this new baby is not to replace you, ok?

You are your own.

What we have, and will continue to have, is our own.

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But our life will be new.

The new will become part of yours too,

It already has.

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You are bound by the closeness of me carrying you both.

You on my hip.

He or she in my tummy.

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Every time you hold me, you are holding them too.

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And you will see that what awaits us is the best kind of new,

Eventually.

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That closeness will become one of playing together, learning side by side, and holding each other through childhood and beyond.

It will be one of sharing me, but feeling full of love.

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That ache you have for me, will become an ache you have for them.

It will become a bond you carry for life.

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That new little person you may struggle with at times, will become all you feel you know.

They will become something you’ll never want to lose.

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So my baby,

Mummy is having another baby.

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Yes this means change for us,

But it also means a new love for you.

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And I can’t wait for you to believe me one day.