Your own advice

When a mum tells you she’s exhausted what do you say?⠀

I normally encourage her to take a nap if she can, to take it easy and reassure her that it’s about surviving not thriving sometimes. ⠀

I also normally tell her that I’m tired too, that it’s hard and to be gentle on herself.

I don’t just say these things to make her feel better. ⠀

I mean it, because I believe it. ⠀

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When a mum tells you she’s feeling overwhelmed what do you say?⠀

I normally suggest she takes it day by day, tries to prioritise, and allows herself to stop and come up for air.⠀

I also normally tell her that my house is a tip, that I often feel overwhelmed and that she’s doing a great job.

And I mean it, because I believe it.⠀

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When a mum tells you she feels guilty what do you say?⠀

I normally tell her that I’ve done the same things, that it’s a silly emotion and that she is not alone.⠀

I normally also tell her that I don’t know how to beat it, that we all feel it, that she shouldn’t be so hard on herself. ⠀

And I mean it because I believe it. ⠀

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When your inner voice says these same things, what do you tell yourself?⠀

I normally say that I must keep going, that I did enough surviving yesterday, that things can’t wait.⠀

I also normally tell myself to get over it, that some have it worse, that I have no right to complain.⠀

And I believe it, but not because I mean it.⠀

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Why?⠀

Why’s it hard to give ourselves the same assurances that we offer others?⠀

Why’s it that we wait for others to reassure us rather than reassuring ourselves?⠀

Why are we sometimes so hard on ourselves?⠀

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I don’t know the why.

I just know the how: What I tell others I struggle to tell myself. ⠀

I rarely day sleep when I’m exhausted.

I don’t always take things day by day when I’m overwhelmed. ⠀

I am hard on myself when I feel guilty. ⠀

I don’t just stop and come up for air when needed.

I don’t mean to do it, but it happens. It’s unintentional hypocrisy, really.⠀

And I pay for it.⠀

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So to those of you in the same boat, remember to offer yourself the same grace, kindness and assurances you do others. ⠀

Take the nap, lower the expectations and lose the guilt because, mama,

You owe it to yourself.