Questions on behalf of the collective

Dear Motherhood,

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Answer me this.

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Why do you have to go so fast? I feel like I’m just catching my breath, and I’ve missed so much when I’ve been in the depths of beauty. It seems so cruel. Are you aware?

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And why can you be so hard some days? I’ve never felt so tested in my life, yet you have given me the most precious gift. I just want to unwrap it delicately and enjoy the moments that come without feeling ripped to pieces by the factors that test me. Is it too much to ask?

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And why do you insist that I am tired all the time? And I’m not just talking about sleep deprivation. Tired in this place is so much bigger than that. But my patience can be so small. And all I want is for my smalls to get the best of me. We both deserve that right?

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And why is there such pressure to be perfect? My children are perfect as they are. Can’t I be too? Unrealistic expectations are the last thing I need right now.

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And why do I feel such a deep sense of guilt about everything? It’s so heavy. I have enough to carry without that extra weight. It means I don’t enjoy the things I should, or don’t do the things I need to for me. Can’t you see?

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And why do you make it easy to place so much focus on our children never being this small again? It’s so triggering. It’s the reminder that makes me choke on my own tears as I think of all I’ll never get back. But what about what we still have left? Surely there’s such beauty in seeing them grow.

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And why do we as mothers feel so undervalued? I’m always catching myself out saying “I’ve done nothing today” or “I’m just a mum”. Every day and night mothers are keeping the human race alive. Surely there can’t be anything more productive than that?

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Do you know?

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Because I’d love to know. I’m sure Mothers everywhere would love to know.

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Sincerely,

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A mother on behalf of a collective of mothers trying to figure you out.

*Written by Emma Heaphy for Mumli App