I'm sorry

I’m sorry about today.

I’m sorry that I didn’t handle my emotions properly. They felt too big for me to handle. There’s so much going on at once, and I tried, but it all got a bit much.

It wasn’t your fault okay?

Mummy just had a bad day.

I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

⠀

And I’m sorry I was on my phone too much. I’m wasn’t trying to escape from you. Not a chance. I was just trying to escape from the hard parts that come with being an adult.

You weren’t the reason for my vacancy okay?

Mummy just wasn’t at her best today.

I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

⠀

And I’m sorry we didn’t make it to the park like you wanted. I know I said we would, and I tried, but it just couldn’t work out today. I got really tired after lunch, and the thought of leaving the house seemed like too hard of a task.

It wasn’t you that was the hard task though okay?

Mummy is just really tired right now.

I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

⠀

And I’m sorry I forgot to pack your favourite snuggly today. I know that upset you and made things harder. I feel terrible. I should have remembered. It’s just there’s so much I have to remember every day and I struggle.

I didn’t mean to let you down okay?

Mummy just has a lot going on right now.

I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

⠀

And I’m sorry we had spaghetti on toast for dinner again. It’s not the best meal. And I know it’s not what we had planned. But it was all I could manage after things did not go to plan this afternoon. Time got away on me. On us. There is never enough time right now.

But time with you is never a waste okay?

Mummy’s just really hard on herself when she feels like she’s not giving you her best.

I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

⠀

I’m sorry about today.

I really am.

⠀

But I tried.

I really did.

⠀

And I promise I’ll keep trying even better tomorrow, the next day and every day after that,

Because you make me want to.