Familiar

Everything feels unfamiliar.

My body is so different than before. Maybe it won’t ever be the same. Its softer, saggier, and stronger for what it’s been through. It’s not what I’m used to seeing, and it needs time to adjust. I do too.

My mind is also foreign. It’s navigating the road every day, which is almost always unknown. It’s expanding to fit in more. It’s never known a mental load like it.

And then there’s just my entire identity. It’s in a transformation. A life changing transition into the depths of motherhood. Away from the days I used to lead as a woman, into the ones I lead as a mother before all else.

This stage of life is full of change, and unfamiliarity.

And it can feel uncertain, uneasy and a lot different to what I’ve known for so long.

But to someone else I am all they’ve ever known,

As they scan my ageing face with their tiny hands - The ones that I’ve held since the start,

As they snuggle into my softer skin - the layers that got me them,

As they rest in my arms - the ones that keep holding them no matter their size -

I am reminded -

I am their familiar,

And that’s why I am exactly where I need to be.