Consequences

I was up all night with him on me.

Feeding every hour or less.

And I’m not complaining about that. Because I love breastfeeding. And I’m so grateful that I can. And I genuinely want to continue for as long as I feel like it’s best for us.

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But the reality of nights like this, is this.

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I didn’t get a wink of sleep.

Not that I can remember anyway.

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And I’m exhausted today.

I feel this course through my bones.

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And I’m a little touched out.

Actually I’m probably a lot touched out.

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And I just hope he will have a gigantic nap today at some point so I can regroup and recharge for as long as I can before we are one again for as long as he needs that.

Sometimes being seperate as two for a moment is just so needed.

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But this isn’t complaining either.

Not in my view anyway.

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This is me talking about a consequence.

A consequence of an act.

A very beautiful but often very time-consuming and draining act.

Because there is always a consequence, positive and not so positive with any act, motherhood related or not.

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But in motherhood, this is so often forgotten. And consequences are considered as complaints.

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Here’s what I think.

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When I talk about being exhausted because of a teething baby, I’m not complaining. I’m talking about a consequence of having a sore and needy teething baby.

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When I talk about wanting bedtime to come quickly on any given day because my toddler has been struggling with her emotions since she woke, I’m not complaining. I’m talking about a consequence of having a toddler who can’t regulate her own emotions yet while I’m trying regulate mine.

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When I talk about the mess and unfinished business everywhere I look, I’m not complaining. I’m talking about a consequence of being at home with two very little children who need every part of me every day.

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I think we can talk about the hard without complaining.

I think we can talk about the not so positive without being ungrateful.

I think we can talk about the CONSEQUENCE as simply that.

Because every act has a consequence, but not every consequence is a complaint.

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So here’s to talking about the consequences.