Direction of your heart

I’m not the person I once was.

Not the same woman, wife or friend.

I’m the mother immersed in early motherhood.

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I struggle to make it anywhere on time. I’m always covered in children or some sort of stain. And I regularly have to leave early.

I don’t have as much time to give my husband. I forget to tell him how much I love and appreciate him. Yet I rely on him so much more.

I haven’t seen some of my friends in months. I regularly forget to check in with them or message them back. I can’t remember the last time I caught up with them without children in the middle.

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And this adjustment hasn’t always been easy.

Some days I miss parts of the woman, the wife, and the friend I used be.

The reliable one.

The consistent one.

The relaxed and carefree one.

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But the changes have been worth it.

Because I have gained so much.

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I have experienced growing, birthing and feeding babies. I’ve seen a mental and physical strength in myself that I didn’t know I had.

I have felt the privilege of being an entire world to another human.

To have the honour of helping them on their path to create their own.

I understand what it is to be loved in a way only a mother knows. To be wanted and needed so deeply. So purely and without condition.

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Since becoming a mother my priorities have changed.

My values have changed.

I have changed.

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But it’s the best sort of change.

Every single change is, no matter the difficulties that come with some of them.

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These changes have been the making of me.

A new me.

The mother born into me.

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And I will keep changing.

I will keep evolving alongside my children, as we move through the

seasons together.

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Because that’s what it takes to be a mother.

That’s what comes with a love like this.

It’s growth.

It’s adapting.

And above all, it’s moving in the direction of your heart.

*Written by Emma Heaphy for Mumli