Story to tell

Pregnant Mama,

This is hard, isn’t it?

And beautiful.

But mostly a big mix of both.

I don’t know how you’re feeling, but I’m tired, wired, ravenous, not hungry, uncomfortable, emotional, over it, into it, and everything in between. No consistency of any sort exists right now. Some days are more hard than beautiful, and other days are more beautiful than hard, but that’s okay, because one day soon we’ll get to hold such beauty in our arms and feel the most consistent sort of love we’ve ever known. How could that not be worth all the hard?

⠀

And how are you holding up?

Or not?

I hope you know it’s okay to be both.

It takes a lot to grow fingers, toes, little lashings of hair, a heart and a brain. We're literally growing a heart from our own. That’s incredible. Remarkable. Nothing short of a miracle. It takes a lot from us, then we give from what we don’t have. Breaking, then rebuilding, over and over, is part of this, okay?

⠀

And are you taking photos?

Or forgetting?

Some weeks I do both.

I just want to remind you that even though we may not feel beautiful, or up to it, or like we want to remember some of the moments in this season, our future selves will thank us for documenting the parts we can manage. The good, the hard, and the mundane. We will look back on them one day and see ourselves in a much different light. One of pride for what we got through. For what our body gave us. For who we were. And that baby, or toddler, or child that’s too big to carry will eventually want to see where they started. We were their beginning. How could that not be beautiful?

⠀

And are you feeling like you are doing too much?

Or somehow like you need to be doing more?

I feel both, constantly.

There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground. Perhaps that's because growing a human from scratch is one of the most extreme things our bodies can do. It is the epitome of productive. It’s no wonder we are feeling like we're doing too much, by doing nothing else. Remember that, okay?

⠀

Pregnant Mama,

It’s a roller coaster for you and me both.

But when our day arrives,

What a story we’ll get to tell, and a happy ending we’ll get to experience.