The Hapu Cleanse
The Hapu Cleanse is unlike any other cleanse I have used before. It is free, produces amazing results (a healthy baby) and all it takes is two to tango. Let me take you through my journey with this product.
Being an avid lover of alcohol, coffee and soft cheeses made the thought of being pregnant an unenjoyable experience. I often wondered if it would be possible to cut these staples out of my life as they featured prominently in my daily routine:
Morning: Coffee on the way to work (normally a caramel latte or a dirty chai depending on the mood that morning).
Midmorning: Second coffee of the day which was and always will be instant because I am too “economical” to buy two coffees in a day and I hate everything about plunger coffee. The effort that goes into making it, the time you have to wait before you plunge, the mess caused on conclusion and the internal debate about where is best to dispose of the cluggy, runny and smelly remains simply does not justify the mediocre coffee fix which results.
Afternoon: Third coffee (instantccino) with an extra sugar to get me through the 3.00pm slump and a slice of unproductive social media surfing on the side for good measure.
Before dinner: Crackers with some form of unhealthy cheese (usually creamy blue) because, well, just because. I like cheese ok and like anyone else who actually tries to enjoy life, I shouldn’t have to answer to anyone about that.
Cooking dinner: A vino. Normally a pinot noir in winter and a chardonnay in summer. However, some days you just can’t be picky and the stress levels call for more. Hypothetically speaking (I promise) one can reach for the dregs of that bottle visitors have previously gifted as a completely inadequate token of appreciation for the three course meal cooked with expensive meat and endless time, before insisting that they drink one’s expensive wine so that their “gift” can be enjoyed at another special occasion.
Peanut at the 12 week scan.
A creature of some unhealthy habits then faced pregnancy. What in earth was I going to do to satisfy my daily habits? In an age where everything seems to be replaceable, the Hapu Cleanse motivated me to find substitutes:
Decaf coffee: Moccona, and only Moccona for my instantccino Mere mmmmm fix. I know, I’m classy.
Haloumi cheese: The cheapest I could find because “cheeze” (lol) it is expensive.
Any zero percent alcoholic beverage that actually tasted like anything other than bubbly sugary water. My findings for those who are interested are as follows:
Zero percent alcohol does not taste like the real thing.
Having tested Lindour bubbles, every type of Evendale wine and Seedlip gin at $64.99 a bottle, the closest I came to finding anything which tasted remotely like alcohol was zero percent Heineken Beer. However, at $24.00 for a box of 12 it was an expensive exercise.
As shocking as it is, I concluded that people drink alcohol largely to enjoy the alcohol content. As a responsible pregnant woman this was not an option. With my research exhausted, I turned to coke (Coca Cola that is). A drink that is not trying to be something else, includes only a small amount of caffeine and tastes good with any meal.
From the day I found out I was pregnant until the day Lottie was born, I remained true to the Hapu Cleanse. But I will not lie. There were cravings. Especially in the early stages when the thought of 8 or so more months without was nauseating. However, the Hapu Cleanse reminded me that these sacrifices were a small price to pay for a healthy baby (and sometimes an extra chocolate bar). That was all I needed.
6 months into the Hapu Cleanse.
The result of the Hapu Cleanse was life changing, literally (#mumofone). I highly recommend this product to anyone currently knocked up or looking to be in the foreseeable future.
*This is not a paid advertisement for the Hapu Cleanse.